No Longer Waiting....

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T19:47:00.001-04:00

It's been a long time...

2011-07-30T11:31:00.003-04:00

Since I posted! Funny how time seems to fly when a two year old is in the picture. We've been busy-vacationing, potty training-singing and dancing. These pictures are from a family cruise we went on in July-fun was had by all.

Spring Break

2011-04-22T13:17:00.005-04:00

Last week we went on Lily's first cruise for Spring break. It was so much fun-everything was new and exciting for Lily. As is the norm on cruises: she ate-A Lot!

She enjoyed the sun!
The decks were her playground
She wore the proper maritime attire
and even dressed up for Captain's Night
I was worried that it'd be too much for her, but she was wonderful. We can't wait for our next cruise!

2011-02-13T15:06:00.004-05:00

On February 4th we celebrated one year of being home from China with Lily. So much has changed in one year. Miss Lily is a happy, spirited, sweet (loves to give random kisses) little girl who has adjusted beautifully into our family. She's grown so much she's hardly recognizable. We too are very different than we were a year ago-for one thing sleep is a precious commodity!

We decided to spend the day at Downtown Disney. She had such a great time that we are making plans to celebrate her second birthday in the Magic Kingdom.

Looking forward to this next year!

365 days ago....

2011-01-24T13:01:00.002-05:00

You were handed to me in a hotel conference room. I was scared, nervous, and anxious-the same feelings I had when I was delivering your brother and sister. How incredible that you came into our lives! What did we do to be so blessed? You've added joy, richness, and love to our family each and every day. I look forward to the many years of being your Mom.
I love you Lily!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T16:11:00.003-05:00

This is my Christmas dress-I sure was a cute candy cane....

My cousin M is my favorite friend ;-)
As soon as my mom learns how to use blogger she'll be a able to put the pictures in chronological order! This was my first Christmas morning! So many toys...
My favorite toy-a play kitchen. I think my mom is hoping I like to cook.

A Year Ago...

2010-12-04T09:12:00.001-05:00

I saw your face for the first time and fell in love.
What a difference a year makes! I love you even more today. You are all mine (We won't tell Dad about this-he thinks you are all his ;-).

November!

2010-11-11T09:08:00.006-05:00

Love my antennas

Mom was squatting so she squatted....

I love to play the piano-and am quite good actually....

This is my rendition of Mozart's 40th

As close to a smile as I could capture-you can't see her dimples here

Hard to believe that we are very quickly approaching our referral one year anniversary. Really does seem like yesterday that I saw Lily's face for the very first time! I've included some of the latest pics of our little dynamo-as usual-they are blurry or she's looking away. The moment she sees the camera she's all over the place or imitating my stance so it's hard to get a good pic. Maybe I need a new camera? Hmm going to look into this....

Enjoy our Halloween/November pictures.

xoxo

2010-10-10T17:42:00.002-04:00

Fall Update

2010-09-25T20:43:00.003-04:00

I guess I can't really call it Fall since I live in So. Florida and it is still very very HOT! Lily has really blossomed into quite the beautiful flower. She is so incredibly cute and smart-no motherly bias of course. Lily loves to run and climb-such a difference from that little baby girl that couldn't even sit up without help from pillows! So many told me that she would catch up-but I will confess-at the time I didn't really believe it. Those were some dark moments. I feel very blessed that she is in my life. As you have seen, I have not been on the blog much - I'll confess that I HAVE NO TIME! From the moment I get home from school until she goes to sleep, Lily and I are attached at the hip. I've never really had that kind of attention from anybody-not even my two older children. Sleep is still a work in progress for us-she had been doing well in this department, but double ear infections and teething have added dark circles under mom's eyes. Even during the worse nights, I thought to myself: this time is so fleeting.....enjoy while I can.

I'll try to post more often as I would like this to be a record for Lily of her early years with us as a family. These pictures are some of the latest ones I've taken of Lily. Once again, they are blurry-I can't seem to get her to stop moving long enough for me to take her picture.

Happy 4th of July

2010-07-05T07:49:00.001-04:00

My mom and Lily on the 4th of July-she's looking like such a big girl.

2010-06-22T09:38:00.001-04:00

This Saturday we Baptized Lily.

It was a wonderful day for me-my three children were home, sleeping under the SAME roof. This is a rarity as the older ones are off living their own lives. I was lucky enough to have my school's priest perform the ceremony for us. He made it very personal and unique. The above picture is just after the ceremony-DH and I with Lily and the Godparents.

4 Months ago...

2010-05-24T15:23:00.004-04:00

today Lily was handed over to me with very little ceremony-yet what a moment! I realize that I've never written about the day because once Lily came into our lives things happened very very quickly and I never had time to write. I'll try to add some details as the days go by-

We had been in Hong Kong for about 3 days before flying to Nanchang to meet the babies. DH and I knew how hard it was to function while dealing with jet-lag, so we wanted to adjust before meeting the baby. We love Hong Kong! It is one of the most fabulous places in the world-we tried to visit old haunts and meet up with friends. Mostly I tried to rest and sleep as I knew that sleep would be hard to get once we had the baby. Our agency had told us that we would be meeting Lily on Monday, January 25 therefore we arrived in Nanchang on Sunday. We were not taking any chances of having something go awry. The flight was a good one-smooth and only about 2 hours long. (I am a terrible flyer) When we arrived at Nanchang airport, our guide had some news-we would be meeting Lily that day! at 4pm. Needless to say, DH and I were excited and scared! I think this is the moment that it became real to me. At 4pm we went to a conference room where we met two other families. Shortly thereafter the orphanage directors began handing over the babies to the families one at a time. DH and I were last-I knew when the director came to the door with the baby that it was Lily-but she looked sooo different! We were expecting a bald little girl-Lily had a full head of black hair! She was so gorgeous. She was handed to me very nonchalantly-and she just looked at me. There were no tears (those came later). What a terrifying moment for me-as I look back now I realize that I felt exactly the same way when I gave birth to my two older children! We tried to get information about Lily from the director, but it quickly became evident to me that what we were hearing was pretty generic and we would have to figure it out for ourselves.

Here are some pics from the "gotcha" moment.

2010-05-12T21:32:00.002-04:00

As promised! I am soooo proud!

First Steps....

2010-05-11T20:45:00.002-04:00

LITERALLY!

Lily took her first steps today at the physical therapist's office. Her therapist and I were just expecting her to stand in place during today's visit when......she took off! It was incredible! I have a small video clip of her subsequent walking during today's visit but I haven't loaded it into the computer yet-I will one of these years when I have some extra time. I'm so proud and astounded at the progress Lily has made in such a short period of time. She has gone from not being able to lift her head while on her tummy to WALKING!

Once again I am saying that I will be updating soon...

It's been three months...

2010-04-25T21:13:00.006-04:00

...since we first held Lily. It is incredible how quickly time has passed-although it doesn't seem to go fast at 3 am! Lily looks like a different baby-she crawls all over the house and is walking as she holds on to furniture. She has gone from screaming because I was bathing her to screaming to be let in the tub. She now loves playing with water. She is adjusting so well to her home-I'll let the pictures tell the story.

2010-04-08T15:24:00.000-04:00

Happy!

2010-04-08T15:22:00.000-04:00

2010-04-08T15:20:00.000-04:00

Hello!

2010-03-13T13:37:00.002-05:00

I realize that it has been a long time since I've updated the blog-it's just that any free moment (when I'm not catching up on sleep) I spend with Lily. She's amazing. I've seen her change and grow so much during the last 6 weeks. The little girl that was so terrified of the water now splashes in her bath tub-she's not doing the traditional crawl-but she scoots everywhere. Last night she pulled herself up to a standing postition in her crib! All of this with a huge smile on her face! Even when she wakes up in the middle of the night-and she does this quite frequently-she has a smile on her face. It's hard to get upset that she's not sleeping so well when she chortles when she sees you. Sleep is an on again, off again situation. She will go for four nights sleeping from 8pm to 6am and then have a night where she wakes up 2 and 3 times. Last night was one of those nights-wouldn't you know it, I had be in school at 6:30 in the morning for testing. Yes, I'm back to work-it feels awful! The first week was very tough and both Lily and I had to adjust to not seeing each other all day, but thankfully her sitter is a lovely lady. Lily has taken to her so it makes having to be away all day a little easier. I am looking forward to summer vacation so much. It's funny how I can't imagine what it was like without her being home with us (I can imagine the sleeping all night uniterupted).

Last Tuesday was Lily's first birthday-because I've been through this before with my two oldest children-I know how fleeting this time really is. I am enjoying every moment to the fullest.

I'll post pics tonight if she decides she is going to sleep instead of play. If not soon...I promise.

Pictures!

2010-02-21T14:17:00.002-05:00

But Mom! There are no car seats in China!
I love riding in my stroller...
Pics are sometimes blurry because I just can't stop moving.

I

A little less tired...

2010-02-11T08:25:00.002-05:00

Lily has been sleeping the last two nights-bed by 8pm up at 5 for bottle, sleep again until 8am. She does not like to nap during the day-I wonder if it's because she doesn't want to be asleep? Maybe she's scared? But the fact that she's sleeping at night makes me very happy.

I promise to post pics today or tomorrow-I'm trying to catch up on house work and a little sleep.

xoxo

Oh Sleep, Sleep, Wherefore art thou, Sleep?

2010-02-08T15:41:00.002-05:00

Any tips on how to help a baby survive/overcome jet lag?

Lily went to sleep at 5pm last night-and try as I might, I could not get her to wake up. She slept until probably 1...and was ready to be up.

I'm tired....

We're Home..

2010-02-05T08:29:00.002-05:00

Barely!

Orly and I became violently ill on the day before we left Guangzhou-our little Nanchang group really believe that it's something we picked up there as everyone of us got it at one point. It was horrible-vomiting and the other-horrible stomach aches, chills--you get the picture. For me it started on the way to the swearing in ceremony at the American embassy. The people there must have thought I was a crazy woman-I could not keep my head up-and running to and from the bathroom must have caused quite the scene. At that moment I was so sick I didn't really care what people were thinking of me-I really thought I was going to end up in the hospital! Poor Lily-her mom could not swear the oath when the time came! I was doubled over on Orly's lap. I'm told that at that same moment, another father from our orphanage group also got sick. He couldn't even make it to the bathroom! This is how sudden and violent this virus was-poor man. I'm thinking this is one day the official rendering the oath will not forget. After all was said and done she very kindly helped Orly get me to a freight elevator so I could get back to the bus. I'm saying it here---I've been through labor twice-no epidural-pain meds....that was more bearable than this process! Thank God for the parents-especially Liz and Bill from our group. They jumped right in and helped Orly with Lily while he almost carried me up to bed. By bedtime that same night he got sick also-what follows is our travel nightmare that I won't get into right now. We are home and we are safe. I'll write more when I'm more settled and will add pics soon too.

Thank you M for updating this site while we were away! Can't wait for you to see Lily-she's really a gift.

Hello from Guangzhou!

2010-02-01T08:12:00.003-05:00

I've been so busy I've been unable to update the blog regularly-I guess I've forgotten how TIME consuming a new baby actually is-Today we went to a temple and had the babies blessed. It was moving for me because I really felt that Lily's birth mother was the one that should have been there with her. This little girl is too special to have lived the experience of abandonment. I write more about that when I've had time to process...

Lily is divina! She's very sweet and easy to get along with. Her sleep could be better, but we'll work on that when we get home. Poor baby wakes up from either napping or sleeping a night with fear in her eyes! She hasn't quite gotten used to the fact that we aren't going to leave her behind-but I'm noticing that she's getting more "secure" (if that is the right word) with us. The first couple of days were pretty scary - it seemed that she would cry as if she was terrified whenever we changed her position in any way. I don't think Lily has ever had any positive or "fun" experience with water-she would scream and become so upset when we bathed her-last night I finally let her sit at the edge of the sink and just dip her toes into the water. You should have seen her little body quake with fear! I've never seen such a young baby shake with fear before-little by little I let her touch and pat the water until I was able to get her to sit in the sink with the water to her waist without crying. This is how I'm going to introduce Lily to bathing...after all a Florida girl has got to like water! I've been thinking so much about how her life must have been up to now-I know that she was cared for in the orphanage, but I don't think there was much loving going on...she doesn't;t know how to reach for me or dad, even though she clearly wants to be picked up. How confusing all this must be to her-I can only hope that time, attention, and love will slowly erase any bad memories or feelings this little flower has endured. BTW-she's really responding to dad now-she coos at him and plays with him-he is over the moon in love! But I will say (and my family will understand) he's STILL getting left behind. But that is another entry.

Tomorrow we go to the embassy and swear that we will take care of and educate Lily. I'll try to get pics of that.

The countdown to home has started....H minus 4!

More Pictures

2010-01-27T08:02:00.003-05:00

Update from Nanchang

2010-01-27T07:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we completed the adoption paperwork for Lily. It was a long tough day-in spite of the long hours in the registry office and the notary, Lily held up pretty well-Her parents did not. This is why we have no pictures and no videos for the event! Alas-at least we survived and signed in all the right places. When I get home I will put more more pictures and videos online. For now I have included these to give you a taste of Lily Elena BiTao Torres!

She's darling-very sweet. I don't have pictures (again) of the moment she was handed to me, but DH took some video. I'll try to get it uploaded so that you may see the Moment. She didn't cry at all when they handed her over to me-she actually smiled and looked into my eyes. I will tell you that 2 hours later was a completely different story! The first night was a doozy! This is when I had my mini melt down. She wouldn't stop crying...and eventually neither did I! Last night was much better. She went to sleep around 8:30 and didn't wake up until this morning. I can't tell you what a difference getting much needed sleep has made for me. Dad is just in love with her-even though she prefers me to him (very normal for initial attachment) she does allow him to carry her and play with her a little bit. More later

Love to all,

Pics...Finally!

2010-01-26T08:08:00.002-05:00

Isn't she more beautiful than words?!

First Post from China!

2010-01-24T09:53:00.001-05:00

We've arrived in Nanchang and have just been told that we will be receiving the babies today! Wow! Our agency told us we wouldn't be meeting the girls until tomorrow. So far Nanchang seems like a very busy city-but by Chinese standards, I guess it isn't. The weather is very dreary and cold, but our flight was very smooth. I'm going to take a nap right now as I really didn't sleep well last night. We are to go down to the second floor at 4:30pm and be given the baby. I'll update after that-hopefully with a picture.

More soon

Almost There

2010-01-23T21:32:00.000-05:00

Next stop....Nanchang and Lily!

More later.

Last day in Hong Kong

2010-01-22T22:35:00.004-05:00

We are out and about trying to fit in everything we love to do here-3 days is certainly not enough time! Yesterday the weather turned cold and dreary, but it is still wonderful to be here-this pic was taken from The Peak. Our apartment (when we lived here) was the one directly behind the two white towers. The water is Victoria Harbor-It was great seeing this again. Tomorrow morning we will be flying to Nanchang and possibly meeting LingLing. Our flight arrives in the province at 12:40 and if everyone from the group arrives on the same day it is a possibility that we are given the babies tomorrow. If not then it will be Monday early in the AM. I'm not sure how easy it will be to get internet access, but will update as soon as I can.

2010-01-21T22:39:00.001-05:00

Best breakfast place in Hong Kong-

Getting ready for Chinese New Year in the streets.

Hong Kong

2010-01-20T20:01:00.002-05:00

We are here....and safe!

The flight was great, I actually slept. We are going to be exploring our favorite spots in Hong Kong-we are surprised at how much we remembered. I'll be posting pics as soon as I can get a better internet connection.

Love to all,

Four days to LingLing!

Ready!

2010-01-19T00:45:00.001-05:00

It's close to 1 am and I think I'm finally ready-or as ready as I'm going to be-

Our flight to Newark leaves at 8:35 am and then on to Hong Kong at 3:30.

Can't believe I'm actually typing this....more to come soon,

Pray for us!

xoxo

Lou

Get Set...

2010-01-12T15:45:00.002-05:00

Since I last posted I've been very busy with my "labor"....some of it painful-most not! The paper work we needed to get ready sometimes feels like is insurmountable-But I think we have completed this step. I'm now in the process of packing for me and baby-I forgot how cute little girl clothing really is! It has been ridiculously cold here in Florida the past few days-I think it is practice for the kind of weather we are going to encounter while in Nanchang. I'm excited about returning to Hong Kong before picking up Lily-we are going to enjoy a few days there while we adjust to "China time". There are so many places DH and I want to revisit. I'll be sure to post some pics of Lily's room before we go-believe it or not-I have nothing in there. Hopefully the crib will arrive within the next day or so and then I'll put it all together. I continue to work like a maniac to get everything ready....

More soon,

On your mark...

2009-12-27T23:31:00.002-05:00

We have started buying some of the "essentials" that Lily will need when we pick her up! So much fun to be shopping for a little girl again. DH's comment: "Wow-such tiny stuff is really expensive!" Little does he know that this is only the beginning. I'm trying to figure out which size to buy--- the paperwork we received with updated measurements states that she is at 8.5 kgs, her pediatrician says "no way!" I'm in a quandary-go with 9 month American sizes or 12 months? What to do? I just got her a little snowsuit that she will need when we are out and about in the village of Poyang-that is for a 12 month old. My father in law's partner tells me that is much too big! It is so hard to try and figure it out. Does anyone out there have any idea what the American equivalent of a size 8.5 shoe size in China is? That has me stumped! I've googled but no avail. I'm wondering if they mean her foot is 8.5 cms? Hmmm Maybe someone that has been there done that can help with that one. I'm also looking for a website that will translate Chinese names into English....Lily's name is Bo (after the orphanage where she was taken to) Bi Tao. I'm trying to figure out what Bi and Tao mean. Any help on that front would be great!

More soon,

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T11:13:00.002-05:00

I wish all a happy Christmas and a healthy and prosperous New Year. I'm enjoying the holidays, but feverishly trying to get myself organized for our trip to China. I've put out the word for a packing list and am starting to get myself and DH organized on that front. It seems unbelievable to me that the countdown to Lily has now started! So much to do....

With Love,

Lourdes

2009-12-07T18:09:00.000-05:00

Love at First Sight!

2009-12-06T15:28:00.000-05:00

Is it possible? I now believe it is.....

2009-12-02T17:22:00.004-05:00

She's sooooo amazingly beautiful!

I'm in love with this baby girl! All day at work today I kept looking at her eyes and wishing that I was on my way to pick her up. Yesterday is a blur. I was completely surprised when I saw RQ's "Babies" post! I was not expecting any news on referrals this month. When I opened the e-mail from my agency and saw her-I knew immediately she was mine! All the wait has been worthwhile-I feel as if I was meant to be her mom and that the timing had to be just right. I am now getting ready for her to come home-this is going to be a wonderful Christmas!

2009-12-02T16:45:00.002-05:00

OK!

She's ours!

She's 9 month old-born in Poyang County, Jiangxi Province.

I hung up on my agency by mistake-too excited.

Will update pic soon.

Hello

2009-12-02T16:25:00.003-05:00

I can't tell you how disappointed I was when we missed getting a referral by ONE day last October! I was pretty devastated. I've always felt that I've handled the wait during the last three plus years quite well, but when I heard that we had missed the mark by so little I just lost it. I couldn't even update the blog-

Well today I've heard that CCAA have matched and mailed out referrals through March 31st. That means we are in. A part of me does not want to think about it too much as I haven't heard from our agency. It's almost as if I'm waiting to hear that something else happened and we didn't get our LingLing. I realize this is ridiculous, but until I actually hear from them I won't celebrate. I guess I learned my lesson from my earlier post when I announced to all that we had gotten a referral.

I will update as soon as I hear anything-pray for us!

xoxo

Speechless.

2009-10-12T16:12:00.001-04:00

I don't know what to write-

We were not included.

They only matched through March 28th.

We missed it by one day.

I don't know what to write-

Update # 87968574904925.....

2009-10-04T19:44:00.002-04:00

There is good news and bad news....

The good news is that we are in as far as our LID is concerned. The word is that March 29th has been included in this batch. However,....

CCAA is not going to send out the referrals until they return from their holiday. That means Oct 8th.

That is the bad news.

The way I see it is if we've waited this long-what is 5 or 6 more days? When I post again it will be to put up a picture of our little girl.

Can't wait!

I want to scream and shout...

2009-09-25T18:31:00.002-04:00

that I believe that 3/29 has been included in this referral batch!

But I won't-it wouldn't be prudent...in light of all the let downs of the past. Instead I will quietly say that there are rumors out there that March 29th might be included in this month's batch of referrals. IF this is the case then....

WE'RE IN! WE'RE IN! WE'RE IN!

But I will temper my excitement and just say-

I'll keep you posted.

Lou

Sooo....

2009-09-17T21:39:00.003-04:00

...it looks like we might be in for this batch of referrals. I say this calmly and somewhat unemotionally because we are just not sure. I am hoping that our LID is included in this batch-but it's just too early to say. Our agency was going to call her China contact today-maybe they will have some concrete info. Either way, I tell DH-if it's not this batch and we miss it by one day then we are certain to be in the next group! This means no matter what, LingLing will be with us soon. Now to figure out bedroom color....

It's like pulling teeth...

2009-07-20T16:52:00.002-04:00

....without novacaine!

It's looking like the next LID to be matched is March 22-I am without words. That means only 2 days in this batch!?! How can this be?

Grrrr

It's been a while...

2009-07-05T09:26:00.002-04:00

...since I posted! Just not much to write about-the point of this blog was to keep family informed as to our progress with our adoption process. However, writing about wait periods is just not that interesting-as I've written before, I deal with the long wait time by just getting busy with other aspects of life. DH and I don't focus on anything having to do with Ling-Ling as it gets very frustrating.

Since we are reaching that magical referal point, we have been getting some things in order but are stumped when it comes to getting her room ready. We don't know how old she will be when we get the referal so are in a quandry as to getting a crib or a toddler bed? Baby type colors or older girl colors for the walls? Hmmm...we've tested out colors on the wall (thank goodness for paint testers!) and really can't make up our minds. We've been to Babys R Us and La Ideal but don't really buy anything because we just don't know what her needs will be. I guess there are some "must have" items that we can begin getting that are ageless? Funny-I've had two kids-but I guess it's been so long since they were babies that I've completely forgotten this stage of the process. I'm thinking this is a good thing! I'm enjoying it all over again! This time without all the morning sickness that lasted all day for nine months for me.

More soon

March 14 LIDs!

2009-05-23T10:55:00.002-04:00

Woke up to wonderful news this morning-CCAA sent referals to families with March 14th LIDs. I had been pretty bummed about the talk of "holds due to Swine Flu" and had pretty much stopped thinking about Ling-Ling again. That is how I cope with the wait. But now I feel energized again! We really are around the corner (March 29th) in our journey towards our little girl. We are guesstimating that we will be traveling to China in September-give or take a few months? Funny how a few months is nothing when compared to the YEARS we've been waiting. I think it's time to paint a room!

Assignment Preparation Letter!

2009-04-21T13:50:00.002-04:00

Today we received our first notification from our agency that the wait will soon be over. Although they were very very careful about giving a time frame, it is obvious that we will soon receive a referral! The letter gives specific instructions as to what paperwork we must have and details instructions as to how to accept our child. Yay. I was kind of having a crappy day today as I got some not so great news, but I am really on an upswing now. DH is attending a seminar in South Carolina-so I texted him about the e-mail. I'm pretty sure he's excited too. Will update when I hear something new...

March LIDs

2009-03-16T11:24:00.003-04:00

We have finally reached the month of March for referrals...the light is absolutely shining at the end of this adoption tunnel. I think it's finally time to begin picking a color for Ling-Ling's room. Our agency tells us that they have matched through March 7th-We are March 29th! Just around the corner.
I wonder how it will be-it has really been such a long wait-and we have been so atypical about this waiting process. The adventure begins....

Hail to the Chief!

2009-01-20T10:48:00.002-05:00

I am getting ready to watch the swearing into office of President-Elect Barack Obama. What a moment...What a country! I just told DH-I am so jealous that I am not an American-yes, I am a naturalized citizen-but I was not born here. I am also so grateful to have been raised and educated in the U.S.-will Ling-Ling feel the same way? Like me, will she feel that she is "American" because this is the only country that she has ever know, yet because she was born in China will she always have that feeling of not really belonging. I wonder (worry) about that. As I sit and watch the pageantry I am proud that I participated by volunteering for the Obama campaign-I learned much about politics and feel a sense of pesonal investment in this government. I look forward to living in a different, inclusive, educated America and pledge to do my part in a grass-roots level to help.
I pray that this is the beginning of a new prosperity for Americans-
I pray that this is the beginning of a peaceful America!

YES WE CAN.............WE ARE ONE!

Getting closer! Somewhat.

2009-01-08T21:01:00.002-05:00

Referrals for this month include LID's throught the end of February. Our LID is March 27-We only have one month before we receive our referral! Our adoption process has been a very long one-when we began the paperwork to adopt we were told the process from start to finish would take 9 months-12monts at most. We are now almost 3 years into the wait. Needless to say it has been very frustrating-at least for my DH. I have always felt that the referral would come when we were matched to the child we were supposed to have-and I don't think this is something that we can/should have any control over. Ling-Ling will come when she's meant to. This is why I never really bought or prepared a room for her. We do have her room-but there is nothing in it. I didn't want to paint or buy stuff until the time of referral got closer. I have gone on with everyday life and really put the adoption on a back burner. I know many women that have been waiting for the same amount of time that I have and are very angry and frustrated with the wait. I just don't see this as productive. Now I think I am going to allow myself to get excited and maybe start looking at paint colors! I'm hoping that we will have a referral by March. Hubby feels it will be a little longer-but even if it is...I really think that our referral is around the corner! What a great New Year this is going to be!

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T20:14:00.002-05:00

I wish everyone a very Happy New Year!

2008 had its share of great times as well as some tough times....

that is part of life.

I think 2009 is going to be fantastic!

I will be grateful for each day of health,

I will live each day to the fullest,

focusing on the POSITIVE,

inspite of the negative.

I wish the very best to my kids, my DH, and my family.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T22:12:00.003-05:00

Today was wonderful! I feel as if all that I worked for (very hard I might add) has come to fruition. Exchanged gifts this morning with hubby-it was peaceful and beautiful and romantic- then my kids came home from their dad's house and they opened up their gifts. Liz and Drew both loved what I got them...I miss them as little kids though. I realized today that when they were little-I didn't realize how quickly that time would pass-were the most magical Christmases of all. Yet today was especially lovely. My family came for dinner-including ex-family and it was great! I loved that we were all together and just enjoying each other's company. I missed my nephew Ivan-and realized I must do my part to get him through a difficult time.
It was a wonderful Christmas! It's all about the ones we love....Next year will be even better-Ling Ling will be with us! A little one in the house again! I'll be able to have a baby...KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW! It's a dream come true. I know I'm going to be a great mom-I've learned what is imprtant and what is not a big deal...how great is that?

Looking forward to a wonderful New Year!

Graduation!

2008-12-21T16:38:00.001-05:00

My daughter graduated from the University of Florida yesterday! Woo Hoo! It seems as if I just dropped her of in her dorm as a freshman. Time certainly has flown-although I times I felt as if she would never finish school. I am very proud of her and her accomplishments. The graduation ceremony was beautiful and moving. They did a wonderful job keeping it short and sweet! No long winded speeches-it was all about the graduates and their families.

Congratulations Liz! I'm proud of you.
xoxo
Mom

'Tis the Season

2008-12-03T20:34:00.003-05:00

Feeling melancholic....Like Sammy! This is our Yellow Lab.

I am amazed by what a difference it is to experience the Christmas Holidays as an adult! I used to LOVE the anticipation of Christmas eve-first as a child, then as a mother of two. It was so wonderful to plan and decorate and experience the joy of the season. Lately I've come to the conclusion that what is missing from my enjoyment is-a small child in the house. There is nothing like the wonder of a little one experiencing the lighting of the Christmas tree for the first time, or waking up on Christmas morning and enjoying all the toys. I remember when my kids would wake up before dawn. I remember when I did that also! DH and I really thought we would be in this position by now. What saddens me is that there is a little girl so far away that will not be enjoying the warmth and love of her own family because of our separation.

Didn't mean to make this post so gloomy-but as I sit and watch the usual Christmas season classic cartoons (Rudulph the Red Nosed Reindeer) what is missing is little Ling-Ling. Oh well-next year will be different.

Feeling good-had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Now preparing to attend L's graduation. I cannot believe that my first baby will be graduating from college -Go Gators!- it was only yesterday she was graduating from Kindergarten.

2008-11-26T23:35:00.002-05:00

Found this list in an adoption blog I sometimes read. You are supposed to Bold the items you have completed or done-I am happy I have so many things to mark off! I guess that means I'm living life to its fullest? Made me feel great!

Enjoy....

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain (several)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (does the one in New Orleans count)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving(does indoor skydiving count?)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (my Raggedy Ann and first Barbie doll)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in Arlington Cemetery
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (Been published in a book and magazines)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T09:10:00.003-05:00

Here's to a joyful holiday season~ It certainly creeped up on me very quickly this year. I really hate being rushed into the holidays and then bam! they are over. This year I am going to make it a point not to "rush" through" and really enjoy the season. I am going to make it about people instead of things. Not much more to say-still waiting...

Yes We Did!

2008-11-11T08:38:00.002-05:00

So much going on, yet so little to report on the adoption front. I'll begin with the election. This is the first time in my life that I get involved in the election process. I know my contribution was minimal-but for me it was monumental. I had never before given money to a campaign. I always felt that politicians have so much more money than a teacher barely making ends meet that it was something I would never consider doing. Well. I not only contributed once, but I did so three times. I know my contributions were small bananas compared to what some gave, but I felt strongly enough for my candidate and his ideals that I wanted to make a statement. I attended my first political rally. Boy was that exciting! The crowds, the energy, and the looonggg wait! I am happy that I attended the rally in Miami-it took place in Bicentenial Park-across the street from the Freedom Tower....the irony was NOT wasted on Me! I remember when my grandmother used to bring me to this building when I was a very little girl-I now know that we would come to get assistance-the cheese, the butter, the help for a new family of immigrants: Two women in a foreign country with a little girl to feed! And they did it! And I am a product of that sacrifice-courage.....So as my chosen candidate spoke of helping those that have been forgotten by government of course it struck a cord within me. I really live by the idea of "to whom much is given, much is expected." I canvassed and made phone calls during this election process-never did I ever imagine that I would participate in such activities! and if felt GREAT. I will take a moment to say that my very Republican Cuban Mother and Mother in law think that DH and I have lost our minds and become FANATICS! Fanantics!?!! Is that the word for trully believing in something/someone and actually stepping up to the plate and acting? Finally, I watched election night coverage because it really mattered this time! I had investedd time, energy and prayer.....and the results were very meaninful for me on a very personal level. What a great country this trully is! If one makes the choice it trully is government "for the people, by the people" How exciting that I was able to feel/experience my government in action.

I look forward to the next four years with hope...yes....how audacious to hope! I believe that as Americans we are once again living up to what that ideal really means. I'm proud and I'm happy and I'm hopeful!

Fall....

2008-10-12T19:00:00.002-04:00

Fall....if we may call it such in South Florida....is my favorite time of the year. Their is a certain "nostalgia" that I begin to feel when the sun sets a little earlier, when the temperatures are not scorching hot, and when the air softens a bit. Ever since I can rememer I've loved the Fall. Those from the North would tell me "but this is not really Fall!" And I agree-no leaves changing and falling to the ground. We do not experience drops in temperature that merit sweater wearing, nor do we turn off our air conditioners. Yet the fact that Halloween is around the corner and we will be changing our clocks soon is enough for me to feel that melancholic feeling of a year coming to an end. This was a year of extremes for me. It was the most challenging for me healthwise and it was the most rewarding careerwise. It was also the year that I realized I had grown up! I remember talking to my childhood friends about what kind of lives we would have-oh how we would plan on being sooo different from our parents. Little did we know that although we would do somethings differently, in our core we became our parents! I so miss my high school years...the people I was friendly with...the carefree life that then I didn't realize I had. Sometimes I get an ache for those years. I only wish that this season would not lead to the rush rush of the Christmas holiday. I am going to make it a point this year to slow down and enjoy the moments-as opposed to how it has been in the past that before we realize it-the holidays are over!

The Lost City

2008-09-28T16:50:00.002-04:00

Today I watched Andy Garcia's The Lost City probably for the third time. It made me feel emotions that I've felt before, yet I've never put into words. As a child of an immigrant mother from Cuba, I have always been very much the loss of this lost city called Havana, yet I am only coming to the realization of the enormity of what happened to my family in my adult years. As a matter of fact, I tried so hard to be American in my growing up years many times denying my heritage. How silly! I guess it was a child's need to fit in. I mention this because I ask myself "How will Ling-Ling feel when she is at the age that I was when I denied my heritage?" For her it will be so much harder-she will not be able to "mix in" as easily as I did due to her Chinese looks. I want to make sure that she will never be ashamed or feel that she must hide her birthplace. Everytime she looks in the mirror she will be faced with it. I do not blame my mother for my feeling the way I did, she was trying to survive in a country that was so foreign to her-having left behind the man that she was in love with (my father) so that I could have a better life. I just can't help but meditate on the heritage that is "lost" to me. In Garcia's movie, he has to leave behind a mother and father that loved him, a lifestyle that was intrinsic to being Cuban. For me, I did not have to make such a difficult choice, yet I commiserate with my mother and grandmother for it had to have been oh so heart-breaking for them. I will never understand their plight-yet I can mourn for a life I never had. I so wish I could go back to those times and experience a slice of life that my mother and grandmother did....I feel strangely nostalgic for her past. I also admire the courage that she and many of my friend's parents had in starting over in this wonderful country. I wonder if I would have been brave or strong enough to do the same?

It's been a while....

2008-09-21T15:49:00.002-04:00

I've been very very busy with school and learning the ropes of chairing the department. Lots of new things to worry about, but all in all, it has been wonderful. I work with 11 other very different and strong people. We are known as the "difficult" department at school, but I also know that we are the most dynamic and efficient. Everyone is really great at what they do (well, mostly everyone). Professionally, this has turned out to be a pretty good year for me-at least thus far. I love the courses I'm teaching...and the kids are really great.

There is still no news on the Ling Ling front. The last we heard is that China has matched people through February 9th-we are end of March so we are almost there. We don't really talk about it-at least not until it becomes a reality.

I will write more soon-I won't be missing in action again

It's Over...

2008-08-10T21:37:00.003-04:00

Me on a camel on the day we went into Jerusalem.

Yes,

Tomorrow I go BACK TO SCHOOL. Wasn't it only yesterday that I was looking forward to surgery and my trip to Israel? What happened? Where did time go? Scary! But I find that I am very much looking forward to beginning a new school year. My classroom is ready-I went in to work a couple of days last week so that I could be ready with that aspect of my job-Now I can focus on the department and the new teacher stuff. I have so many plans for my department! I really want us to be the very best in the school! Sounds corny doesn't it? I do know that I have to begin with just getting us organized...

I went on Facebook and found a long "lost" friend. I'll write a whole blog on that later.....

Today I saw that the LID date that was matched in China was 1/27/06. Only 2 days of matching in the whole month! Unbelievable. DH very frustrated by this date too.

It's almost over

2008-07-28T22:03:00.002-04:00

Where has summer gone? I remember the days when it was 3 months off for the summer...the lazy days of beach, camp, and play. Or was it that my perceptions as a kid are seen through "rose-colored glasses"? I am already getting ready to get my department up and running for the new school year. I have a sense of anticipation and hope for a new school year. It really is a new beginning and a fresh start. Yet, I do feel that the summer has very quickly gone by. I know that in the north, school still does not start until after Labor day...that's how it used to be when I was a kid. Now, in the state of Florida we begin in mid August-our first day this year will be August 11 for faculty and August 18 for the student body. That is really early! Hopefully this beginning will not be marked by the usual hurricanes that usually get us in a panic. (The kids sure do love those hurricane days) I heard from a very old friend today-apparently she got in touch with one of our old school mates-MJ-we haven't heard from her in over 15 years! I can't wait to see what she's up to...
In the meantime, I am going to enjoy every moment of the final days of freedom I have left!

I'm Baaack!

2008-07-17T15:52:00.006-04:00

It's hard to believe that I was counting down the days before my trip and now in the blink of an eye....I'm back. It was simply amazing! I cannot begin to express just how overwhelming an experience it was to visit the Holy Land. I did just fine on the airplane rides...just a little nervous at take-offs and landings. I flew on a prop plane for the very firt time between Baltimore and Newark-that was scary! Jet lag really kicked my butt, but the experience was wonderful. The Anti-defamation league took care of us as if we were dignitaries. I've never seen such respect and admiration shown to teachers. We met many that are trying to make a difference in the lives of children that are in war torn areas. Why don't we hear about that in the news? My visit to Yad VaShem (Holocaust Museum) was one of the most impactful for me. I will absolutely try to return there. Can you imagine hearing Sunday Mass in the church of the Holy Sepulcher? I did-and feel as if such a gift was given me. I know that I haven't yet realized processed all aspects of this experience, but I am truly grateful to have been chosen to participate in this seminar that will make me a better teacher. This picture was taken while we were sailing on the Sea of Galilee-I really have to pinch myself to believe that I really lived this experience!

Two Weeks and Counting....

2008-06-23T20:10:00.002-04:00

I leave for Baltimore on July 6th! Cannot wait...although I HATE (AM TERRIFIED OF) flying. It seems ridiculous for me to be so phobic about getting on an airplane in light of how many miles I've logged during the last 4 years, but I really wish there was a better way of getting from point A to point B. I'm always so sure it's going to be the one that does me in, but alas I will not allow that fear to stop me from going to spectacular places. It has been two weeks since school ended yet I feel that my summer vacation just started. Before I know it I'll be back in school....yuck! Although I've been doing much to prepare the department for a smooth start in August. I want to get much accomplished this week-but I'm still very sore from surgery. I hope to feel better by the time I have to leave! I can't imagine carting the luggage through the airport and hotel rooms and feeling so sore! But everything will work out-I'm sure of it. I have a doctor's follow up appointment tomorrow, so I'll see what he says about the soreness. I also want to ask him if it's ok for me to swim in the Dead Sea-I would think it's theraputic? Hopefully he will say all is well. I found a mom of two of my students that is adopting from China. She got her referral for her baby and will be leaving for China at the end of this week! I'm so excited for her...what is ironic is that she has two older kids - as I do- her youngest and my youngest graduated from high school together, and now we are both embarking on "starting over" as so many people tell me. I don't see it as starting over at all!!! I see it as a continuation of my life's goals. Ever since I can remember, my mom used to talk about this little Chinese girl that she had "sponsored/adopted" when she was young in Cuba. From what I understand, the process was that you took on this baby girl that was in an orphanage in China and you paid for her welfare throughout her life. My mom would receive pictures and updates of her little girl throughout the time that she was in the program. Then came Fidel Castro and the rest is history. Her story really began my awareness and later my yen (no pun intented) to adopt a little girl from China. It seems like our wait is getting shorter-this week they announced the referrals of all LIDs through Jan 22. Our's is March 23. Soon soon......

Life and Death

2008-06-13T21:07:00.003-04:00

Today has been a day in which I have been very much confronted with the subject of Life and Death. Tim Russert has unexpectedly died of heart failure, a 12 year old girl named Haley succumed to her CF and Tricia had a biopsy in order to confirm a cancerous tumour in her newly transplanted lung. What is the meaning in all this? I like to think that everything that happens has a purpose, and yes, I've grown up hearing "only God knows the real meaning of why this is happening." But at times it's really hard to buy that platitude. How do Haley's parents go on? How do Mr. Russert's (who was in the height of his career) family cope with this unexpected tragedy? How do Nate and Tricia deal with this next "curve ball"? Prayer? seems lame. Yet, even when I am most distant from God-I find myself praying! Why? Is it ridiculously naive of me? is this conditioned behavior? I don't know, what I do know is that I feel a sense of peace and well being in being able to pray at my most desperate moments. Life is such a gift! I treasure it so-have so many hopes, dreams and plans....yet the reality of life is that death can come at any given time! Preparation? My Catholic upbringing tells me that we should be confessed and "free from sin" I think I have learned what true preparation is~Living the life we are given in the best possible way! Life it fully, kindly, productively, and lovingly. Be grateful for others and tell them! Help our fellow man always....and let God do the rest!

Not very deep, but certainly heartfelt. Tonight I will be praying for Tricia and Nate-that they stay strong and continue to be such an example to people like me who falter. I pray for the Palmer family, that they may rest in the knowledge that Haley is breathing easy in the arms of our father and for Tim Russert's son and wife-may the peace of our Lord envelope them in this time of unspeakable grief.

Last Day of School!!!

2008-06-05T14:35:00.002-04:00

Today was the last day of school! Yipee!!! I always laugh when the kids tell me how happy they are that school is out for the summer...little do they know that I am happy too. I see the end of the school year as a time to relfect on how this year has been, what things worked and what didn't. When you teach high schoolers--you find out quickly what did not work. I really enjoyed my students this year. They were respectful and very smart. I was able to try out new curricula as they were so open to "new ideas" and projects.
This summer I plan on travelling. I am lucky to have been chosen to participate in a "study program for teachers" I will be going to Baltimore, and then from there to Israel! I cannot believe I'm actually going. I will be visiting the Holy Land, while learning how to teach about the Holocaust to my students. I cannot contain myself I'm so excited.
Lots of stuff going on over here...also remodelling our bathrooms-what a mess! But that soon will be finished and we'll be able to enjoy uptdated facilities.
Last Tuesday was my daughter's 23rd birthday....WHERE DID TIME GO? I remember now that people would tell me "enjoy this time now, because it goes so fast" Where they ever right! I can't believe that she's a young woman, independent and fiesty! Love you Liz!

More soon...

Still Waiting

2008-05-06T08:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we received an update from our adoption agency....29 months from LID is the expected delay! Ouch. When we began the process the wait was 6-9 month......
Really don't know what to make of this. It is even harder for DH. He's not used to "disappointments" such as this. I am at a loss as to what to even think. I ask myself if we should even continue in this program? Yesterday we figured out that at this rate, we wouldn't be getting our referral until May of next year. It is inconceivable to me really-I just cannot fathom waiting that long....

sound frustrated don't I? I have coped in the past because I just put it out of my mind and go on about my daily life, but now it's becoming harder and harder to do that.
Mother's day is around the corner and soon it will be father's day-I've experienced being a parent, but what about O? He really is feeling it! I wish there was something I could DO, this process seems so unfair.

Teaching

2008-05-05T16:42:00.000-04:00

Today I realized that I do not write about what I do on a daily basis....my teaching. I find that I am very very tired lately. I know that it is the end of the year, and many of the students I teach (seniors) are already "out the door" at least mentally. I cannot believe sometimes how much energy I put out daily just to maintain my student's attention! This is even more annoying when I hear comments-many times from members of my own family!- like "oh, you have it easy...all you do is sit at your desk all day, or you have the best hours! you only work half a day and get three months off a year!, or teachers don't really work....BAH HUMBUG! I am on my feet from the moment the first bell rings to the end of the day. If I'm lucky I get to sit to eat lunch...lately I've been eating while doing administrative "stuff" Yeah, no one tells you about the mountains of paper work! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do. I thoroughly enjoy my subject area: English, and I have a passion for reaching my students-I'm just plain old TIRED! No wonder we have the summer off! If we didn't then we'd all burn out. By the way....it is NOT three months-those days are long over; at least they are in the state of Florida. We end on the beginning of June and report back beginning of August. I'll take it! I love it! However; most of the time I'm preparing for next year-trying to come up with new and innovative techniques for reaching my students or taking classes to keep up with new "trends."

Sad...

2008-05-04T11:39:00.000-04:00

Princess Sam from the Waiting for a Fairytale blog passed away on Friday. I had been checking on her daily always expecting that the next post would be something to the effect of "sorry I've been away...but....I GOT MY LUNGS!!!...instead, one of her friends posted the news of her death. I didn't realize I would be so affected by her death. As I thought about all of the people who are going through this struggle, I realized how incredibly lucky I am. My thoughts go out to Sam's family and friends...and to J-whom she loved. It has to be an incredibly difficult time for them.

This thing called BLOGGING....

2008-04-28T21:34:00.000-04:00

I'm completely amazed that I have become so "addicted" to blogs. Unitl very recently I didn't even know what a blog was! Now I find myself checking in on some people's blogs on a daily basis. When Tricia was waiting for her lungs and going through very tough times I prayed for her as if she was one of my friends. I've found myself smiling over Alice from South Africa's success and health after her transplant. I've cried over a mom carrying a baby to term knowing that the little girl would only take a few breaths. I've become so angry over an abuse of friendship and am checking on a young women named Pepe that may not have long to live. I'm not ashamed to admit that it was their journeys have given me courage and solace during some tough times this winter. The struggles and triumphs of these people I've never met have reminded me that we are all living this life the best way we know how. It is so great to read about "normal" people living extraordinary lives in a world that only the bad stuff gets attention. So.....Hurray for Tricia and Gwyneth-you are a physical manifestation of God's love and mercy in the world...Alice: As we say in Miami: You Go Girl!....Dancing-you will make it through-hang in there. Pepe....praying for you really, really hard. Mama Hen you are my role model--You ROCK!

Cheung Chung Island

2008-04-04T20:50:00.000-04:00

Trying to figure out how to upload pics onto blog....can't figure out how to rotate image...will keep trying.

BTW This was Orly and I in an island off Hong Kong. No motor vehicles, only bikes allowed on island....

Important Update!

2008-04-04T20:43:00.000-04:00

Tricia received her new lungs!

What great news for her, what a glorious gift from the donor and family. I was continually looking at Nate's blog on the night of the surgery and praying for success. I can imagine how her friends and family must be feeling. Here I am a complete stranger (that has been completely touched by this family) staying up and worrying about Tricia...how must Nate and her family have felt? Once again, I don't think they realize how many people that have not prayed in a long time, came to their knees. Isn't this also part of the miracle? I firmly believe that it is...I am a witness to it in my own home! Makes me so happy. Thank you Nate and Tricia for sharing your journey and gathering sheep as you traveled the difficult road.

I also found out that the wait for Ling-Ling is even longer. I as myself "Is it a sign?"

God will show the way if it is....

Spring Break

2008-03-28T20:31:00.000-04:00

One of the "perks" of being a teacher is the holidays. In order to stave off burnout the powers that be make sure to sprinkle our school year with numerous days off...Thank God! I am nearing the end of this year's spring break. I had a nice time relaxing and working around the house. I feel that we accomplished many chores and to-dos that needed doing, yet so much more to be done! I will begin getting all my school "stuff" ready by tomorrow....and then it will be downhill until the end of the year. I teach seniors and as far as they are concerned they are finished with high-school. I have written my lesson plans for the next four weeks in such a way that it will allow me to stay sane and afford them the opportunity to get through the next month without failing. Our school graduates the seniors in May rather than in June.

On a happy note I can report that I am feeling almost all well. I still have some brething issues, but nothing like December and January. This really felt like I was never going to get better. I have a follow up appt. in about 3 weeks and am very hopeful that by then I will be 100% well. And I pray that never again I experience this asthma/bronchitis mess! This leads me to bring up Tricia and Nate again. I've kept up with their blog as I am so inspired by their story. Little do they know how much and how many unlikTely people pray for them. Their blog is Confessions of a CF husband. don''t know how to add a link to the blog, but if you google it you'll find it. Tricia is still waiting for new lungs, and their little baby is slowly but surely growing. What is amazing is the power of God's love in them...their is no despair-or at least none that is long lasting. They always turn to Jesus and put their faith and trust that everything that happens is for the glory of God. I can't tell you how much this helped me whenever I was feeling so down when I was sick. What I did was everytime I got depressed and anxious about not getting better fast enough I thought about Tricia and what she was probably going through...I then offered prayers for her. I hope that in a very small meaningless way I helped. I know praying for her helped me "see" things so much more clearly. Is this "God's plan" mean? Does he work in ways that we don't understand-and will never see for ourselves, yet nonetheless miracles are happening?

I continue to pray for Tricia-I hope she gets her new lungs so that her baby daughter has the joy of growing up with her mom!

Sunday...Sunday...

2008-03-16T10:21:00.000-04:00

My favorite things to do on Sunday are

Laundry...yes! I love the feel and smell of freshly washed clothes.

T. V. watching...I've become so lazy. HGTV all so...dreaming of how to do those things in my own house.

Plan for the next school week.

Relax.

Laze about...

Hong Kong

2008-03-13T15:42:00.000-04:00

Why is it that when we are living an adventure we sometimes don't see it as such? Today I read a blog about a couple that is in Hong Kong getting ready to pick up their daughter in China. As I read their descriptions of what they were doing I was completely moved by the memories of when I was in Hong Kong. I had never wanted to even visit the orient, not ever. In 2005 DH was transferred to Hong Kong due to work reasons. At the time I was so negative about the whole idea of living on the other side of the world! Yet, the more time I spent in Hong Kong, the more I fell in love with the city. I miss the sounds and smells of this cosmopolitan city. It was such an education and opportunity to experience the culture on the level that I was able to. We are back home now and I find myself nostalgic at times for Hong Kong. I am looking forward to visiting again, but realize that "visiting" and "living" are not the same. We have decided to fly to Hong Kong when we go get Ling-Ling. I think we will get there several days earlier so that we may visit old haunts!
I am also making it a point to live everyday as if it were an adventure...I don't want to look back and say "Wow, I wish I had really enjoyed that experience fully when I was living it!"

MIA

2008-02-27T18:12:00.000-05:00

It has been about a month since I wrote anything-it's just that I find that there is very little to say! From the look of things, no new referrals. It is almost impossible to conceive that Ling Ling is out there waiting and we are........waiting. It is starting to get frustrating, especially for dh. This is a first child for him.

I've been struggling with bronchial troubles. I'm better but not at 100%--for someone that has never had any type of breathing problems, I find that this has been a very very scary time. I hate being short of breath-can't really sleep and I freak myself out. I've been to doctor and am told that this is very normal. I have inflammation from being sick during December. Again, I'm better, but frustrated this has lasted soooo long. I'm continue to be on anti-inflamatory medications and a bronchial dilator when I need it. This leads me to the discussion of Nate and Tricia.

I came upon a blog about them when I was on one of the adoption sites. They are a couple that are living with so much struggle: She has cystic fibrosis and became pregnant when she was put on the list for lung transplant. Early this year she gave birth to a very premature baby girl who is still in NICU. Tricia is quite depleted, but thankfully on the Organ transplant list. Nathan is just trying to keep it together; he claims God is his only hope and source of strength. I ask myself "How can that be?" I so wish I had that kind of faith. The kind that you have all the time, not just when you are sick or in trouble. How do I get that? I'm ashamed at my previous behavior. During the time I was really sick, I whined and complained and felt so sorry for myself. Yet in a hospital room a woman was fighting just to catch a breath.

I pray for them often and hope that a lung transplant happens soon.

Addition to the Family

2008-01-27T13:16:00.001-05:00

We have a new member in the family. She's cute as a button, very blonde, and very needy! She's a 6 week old Labrador Retriever. My son has been wanting a dog for a while now, so this was his birthday gift. The first thing I wanted to know when he decided on the breed was "Are they good with kids?" Everyone assures me that they are, but I am thinking ahead of the time when Ling Ling comes. I hope they will like/love each other.

Packing for a baby

2008-01-17T18:21:00.000-05:00

What does one pack when they are getting ready to become an instant mom? I'm wondering what essentials I need to pack and what I can just get while I'm in China. In reading other people's blogs that are getting ready to go and meet their daughter I realize that I am completely unprepared for this big event. I also realize that I only really have 6 months to do her room, get her some clothes, get myself ready and pack. Sounds easy but it isn't. I think I have coped with the long wait by just putting the whole thing out of my mind. Don't get me wrong, DH and I often talk about little Ling Ling, but it is always about what to name her, or plans on how to raise her. She is very very real to us. Yet by the same token we haven't done anything in the way of concrete action (other than tons of paperwork) in preparation for her coming. It is almost as if it makes the time fly faster. Now, however, I think that we are getting close to the moment. I think we need to actually start preparing the house and more importantly planning for our travel so that it doesn't become a race against the clock by the end. My thoughts lately have been about packing for her. What do I need....well everything really....diapers, formula, clothes, medicines....God forbid...but what must be purchased here and what can I get over there? I wonder if it depends on the province that she comes from? The only thing I am really glad about is that the weather should be fairly warm, therefore; easy to pack light....I've seen the pics of the snow covered streets! As a native Miamian I don't think DH nor I could handle the cold. We wouldn't know what to do with ourselves. I'm going to look up groups that I might join so that I can start getting the 411 and like a good mom....be PREPARED!

2008-01-15T19:59:00.000-05:00

So I looked at my favorite adoption blog just now and the Hen has her new Chick. The pics she put up are amazing. What a cute little girl. I wonder how I will feel when it is me somewhere in China taking responsibility for a life! I hope I live up to the task...I think I will be so scared and stressed that I won't be able to enjoy the moment. I would like to savor every single aspect of the experience however.

Little about my family:

Daughter 22 set to graduate this May...she followed in her mom's footsteps even though she really really didn't want too! Talk about turning into your mother......I know I have.

Son 19 in his freshman year of college. Enjoying the experience and looking forward to an early graduation. Just purchased a brand new Labrador puppy that come home this Friday.

My first question???? Will this breed be good with babies? I'm looking forward to a baby in the house! I think now it will be safe to start planning her room. I've sort of put it off because I didn't want to "jinx" it. Very Cuban of me...

Husband: Homeland Security-that's all I'll say about that. He has never had a child, so I want so very much for this to be "his" experience. I will try to let him hold baby first? who knows....

Myself: High School English teacher! Need I say more? I teach seniors-no I can't say more about that, if you have had teens you know what I mean. If you are still on that journey I don't want to color your experience! I will say that I absolutely love what I do-enjoy my students completely-no matter what their mood!

Getting into It

2008-01-14T15:16:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been reading many different blogs. I am amazed by the creativity that some people display in their sites! I do not come close in their ability. I am intrigued by "gotcha day" posts and pictures. I ask myself "How will I feel?" and "Will I cry?" I really don't know. I am very moved by the videos of moms holding their little girls for the very first time, yet at the same time I am so saddened by the whole situation... Why so many girls in orphanages? How can things like this happen in our world? Especially in the "modern" times that we live in! I am going to write something that is probably a huge NO-NO in this community that I am slowly becoming a part of: children belong with their parents...especially their moms! What will happen to this little girl that I will raise and nurture? How can I erase the reality of how she came to be in my life? I am afraid that no matter how much I love her, nor how much she is given and made a part of the family, she will somehow not get over her abandonment! What does it do to a person to know that they were discarded? I don't think I can erase that underlying truth...especially when she becomes a teen and is finding her identity. Am I being too dramatic? Worrying too much? Maybe....

Waiting for Ling-Ling

2008-01-13T18:23:00.000-05:00

My husband and I have been waiting for a little girl we call Ling-Ling for about 22 months. It is only until very recently that this has become "real" to me. I am a mother of two college students so the feelings of "can't wait" really have not been part of my adoption experience. When I read other waiting family blogs, I realize that my experience is very different from all of those waiting moms. Sometimes it makes me feel very guilty. It does not, however, mean that I do no look forward to this little girl that will one day be my daughter. In fact, I truly believe that everything happens WHEN it is supposed to happen. We should not force nor rush a situation. It has taken this long to get Ling-Ling, because the little girl that will one day be ours is not ready to be placed in our home yet. Call it the Hand of God, Fate, or Karma....She will be given to us when the time is right. In the meantime, I work on making myself a better person, and in further strengthening the family that she will one day be a part of.