Two Weeks and Counting....

I leave for Baltimore on July 6th! Cannot wait...although I HATE (AM TERRIFIED OF) flying. It seems ridiculous for me to be so phobic about getting on an airplane in light of how many miles I've logged during the last 4 years, but I really wish there was a better way of getting from point A to point B. I'm always so sure it's going to be the one that does me in, but alas I will not allow that fear to stop me from going to spectacular places. It has been two weeks since school ended yet I feel that my summer vacation just started. Before I know it I'll be back in school....yuck! Although I've been doing much to prepare the department for a smooth start in August. I want to get much accomplished this week-but I'm still very sore from surgery. I hope to feel better by the time I have to leave! I can't imagine carting the luggage through the airport and hotel rooms and feeling so sore! But everything will work out-I'm sure of it. I have a doctor's follow up appointment tomorrow, so I'll see what he says about the soreness. I also want to ask him if it's ok for me to swim in the Dead Sea-I would think it's theraputic? Hopefully he will say all is well. I found a mom of two of my students that is adopting from China. She got her referral for her baby and will be leaving for China at the end of this week! I'm so excited for her...what is ironic is that she has two older kids - as I do- her youngest and my youngest graduated from high school together, and now we are both embarking on "starting over" as so many people tell me. I don't see it as starting over at all!!! I see it as a continuation of my life's goals. Ever since I can remember, my mom used to talk about this little Chinese girl that she had "sponsored/adopted" when she was young in Cuba. From what I understand, the process was that you took on this baby girl that was in an orphanage in China and you paid for her welfare throughout her life. My mom would receive pictures and updates of her little girl throughout the time that she was in the program. Then came Fidel Castro and the rest is history. Her story really began my awareness and later my yen (no pun intented) to adopt a little girl from China. It seems like our wait is getting shorter-this week they announced the referrals of all LIDs through Jan 22. Our's is March 23. Soon soon......

Life and Death

Today has been a day in which I have been very much confronted with the subject of Life and Death. Tim Russert has unexpectedly died of heart failure, a 12 year old girl named Haley succumed to her CF and Tricia had a biopsy in order to confirm a cancerous tumour in her newly transplanted lung. What is the meaning in all this? I like to think that everything that happens has a purpose, and yes, I've grown up hearing "only God knows the real meaning of why this is happening." But at times it's really hard to buy that platitude. How do Haley's parents go on? How do Mr. Russert's (who was in the height of his career) family cope with this unexpected tragedy? How do Nate and Tricia deal with this next "curve ball"? Prayer? seems lame. Yet, even when I am most distant from God-I find myself praying! Why? Is it ridiculously naive of me? is this conditioned behavior? I don't know, what I do know is that I feel a sense of peace and well being in being able to pray at my most desperate moments. Life is such a gift! I treasure it so-have so many hopes, dreams and plans....yet the reality of life is that death can come at any given time! Preparation? My Catholic upbringing tells me that we should be confessed and "free from sin" I think I have learned what true preparation is~Living the life we are given in the best possible way! Life it fully, kindly, productively, and lovingly. Be grateful for others and tell them! Help our fellow man always....and let God do the rest!

Not very deep, but certainly heartfelt. Tonight I will be praying for Tricia and Nate-that they stay strong and continue to be such an example to people like me who falter. I pray for the Palmer family, that they may rest in the knowledge that Haley is breathing easy in the arms of our father and for Tim Russert's son and wife-may the peace of our Lord envelope them in this time of unspeakable grief.

Last Day of School!!!

Today was the last day of school! Yipee!!! I always laugh when the kids tell me how happy they are that school is out for the summer...little do they know that I am happy too. I see the end of the school year as a time to relfect on how this year has been, what things worked and what didn't. When you teach high schoolers--you find out quickly what did not work. I really enjoyed my students this year. They were respectful and very smart. I was able to try out new curricula as they were so open to "new ideas" and projects.
This summer I plan on travelling. I am lucky to have been chosen to participate in a "study program for teachers" I will be going to Baltimore, and then from there to Israel! I cannot believe I'm actually going. I will be visiting the Holy Land, while learning how to teach about the Holocaust to my students. I cannot contain myself I'm so excited.
Lots of stuff going on over here...also remodelling our bathrooms-what a mess! But that soon will be finished and we'll be able to enjoy uptdated facilities.
Last Tuesday was my daughter's 23rd birthday....WHERE DID TIME GO? I remember now that people would tell me "enjoy this time now, because it goes so fast" Where they ever right! I can't believe that she's a young woman, independent and fiesty! Love you Liz!

More soon...

Still Waiting

Yesterday we received an update from our adoption agency....29 months from LID is the expected delay! Ouch. When we began the process the wait was 6-9 month......
Really don't know what to make of this. It is even harder for DH. He's not used to "disappointments" such as this. I am at a loss as to what to even think. I ask myself if we should even continue in this program? Yesterday we figured out that at this rate, we wouldn't be getting our referral until May of next year. It is inconceivable to me really-I just cannot fathom waiting that long....

sound frustrated don't I? I have coped in the past because I just put it out of my mind and go on about my daily life, but now it's becoming harder and harder to do that.
Mother's day is around the corner and soon it will be father's day-I've experienced being a parent, but what about O? He really is feeling it! I wish there was something I could DO, this process seems so unfair.

Teaching

Today I realized that I do not write about what I do on a daily basis....my teaching. I find that I am very very tired lately. I know that it is the end of the year, and many of the students I teach (seniors) are already "out the door" at least mentally. I cannot believe sometimes how much energy I put out daily just to maintain my student's attention! This is even more annoying when I hear comments-many times from members of my own family!- like "oh, you have it easy...all you do is sit at your desk all day, or you have the best hours! you only work half a day and get three months off a year!, or teachers don't really work....BAH HUMBUG! I am on my feet from the moment the first bell rings to the end of the day. If I'm lucky I get to sit to eat lunch...lately I've been eating while doing administrative "stuff" Yeah, no one tells you about the mountains of paper work! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do. I thoroughly enjoy my subject area: English, and I have a passion for reaching my students-I'm just plain old TIRED! No wonder we have the summer off! If we didn't then we'd all burn out. By the way....it is NOT three months-those days are long over; at least they are in the state of Florida. We end on the beginning of June and report back beginning of August. I'll take it! I love it! However; most of the time I'm preparing for next year-trying to come up with new and innovative techniques for reaching my students or taking classes to keep up with new "trends."

Sad...

Princess Sam from the Waiting for a Fairytale blog passed away on Friday. I had been checking on her daily always expecting that the next post would be something to the effect of "sorry I've been away...but....I GOT MY LUNGS!!!...instead, one of her friends posted the news of her death. I didn't realize I would be so affected by her death. As I thought about all of the people who are going through this struggle, I realized how incredibly lucky I am. My thoughts go out to Sam's family and friends...and to J-whom she loved. It has to be an incredibly difficult time for them.

This thing called BLOGGING....

I'm completely amazed that I have become so "addicted" to blogs. Unitl very recently I didn't even know what a blog was! Now I find myself checking in on some people's blogs on a daily basis. When Tricia was waiting for her lungs and going through very tough times I prayed for her as if she was one of my friends. I've found myself smiling over Alice from South Africa's success and health after her transplant. I've cried over a mom carrying a baby to term knowing that the little girl would only take a few breaths. I've become so angry over an abuse of friendship and am checking on a young women named Pepe that may not have long to live. I'm not ashamed to admit that it was their journeys have given me courage and solace during some tough times this winter. The struggles and triumphs of these people I've never met have reminded me that we are all living this life the best way we know how. It is so great to read about "normal" people living extraordinary lives in a world that only the bad stuff gets attention. So.....Hurray for Tricia and Gwyneth-you are a physical manifestation of God's love and mercy in the world...Alice: As we say in Miami: You Go Girl!....Dancing-you will make it through-hang in there. Pepe....praying for you really, really hard. Mama Hen you are my role model--You ROCK!