Getting into It

Lately I've been reading many different blogs. I am amazed by the creativity that some people display in their sites! I do not come close in their ability. I am intrigued by "gotcha day" posts and pictures. I ask myself "How will I feel?" and "Will I cry?" I really don't know. I am very moved by the videos of moms holding their little girls for the very first time, yet at the same time I am so saddened by the whole situation... Why so many girls in orphanages? How can things like this happen in our world? Especially in the "modern" times that we live in! I am going to write something that is probably a huge NO-NO in this community that I am slowly becoming a part of: children belong with their parents...especially their moms! What will happen to this little girl that I will raise and nurture? How can I erase the reality of how she came to be in my life? I am afraid that no matter how much I love her, nor how much she is given and made a part of the family, she will somehow not get over her abandonment! What does it do to a person to know that they were discarded? I don't think I can erase that underlying truth...especially when she becomes a teen and is finding her identity. Am I being too dramatic? Worrying too much? Maybe....